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By : Hunter Thomas                                                        

 

Kansas City Mo. ‑ Commercial artist, Margaret Poindexters head exploded while she was using her cell phone in her car on her way home from work last week. One eyewitness who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that "Her head exploded like a watermelon hitting the pavement." All accounts agree that her car then veered off the road, then careened across a parking lot and into the front entrance of an IHOP, destroying the all you can eat breakfast bar. Angry patrons attempted to drag Poindexter out of her car and beat her senseless for ruining their breakfast, but were horrified to discover the headless body lying in the drivers seat.

 

The circumstance of Mrs. Poindexter death are similar to 345,000 other such cases that were reported last year. Although the cause of those deaths were characterized by government officials as accidental, all of the other victims were also headless and still clutching cell phones when their bodies were discovered.

 

It should be noted that the National Safety Board issued a report 18 years ago when the cell phone were first introduced, claiming that extended use of the phone could cause a "slight bursting of the head." Shortly after this report was issued, the person in charge of the agency was terminated and the report retracted.

 

With Mrs. Poindexter's demise the debate over cell phones has once again been thrown into the spot light. Later this week Congress will begin hearings to determine which district will get the lucrative cell phone radio sites.

 

The national association of cell phone dealers issued the following statement in response to the most recent head popping. "We regret these unfortunate incidents and we offer our sincere condolences to the families of the victims. Cell phones have always been a safe and economical means of communication and well do everything to make them safe."